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Obama “feels your pain”…

Or rather, he feels sympathetic to rich people getting richer. It’s so hard to tell the difference.

Ok, tactically, I suppose I understand, as Brad Delong does. But it still smells really, really, bad and given that no matter how you look at it he’s being “two-faced” and then which face is the real one?

In any case, in response, this is an edited (because I screwed up frankly) version of what I commented to Brad’s post with:

“Uh, forget bailouts. No one deserves $16 million period. I mean, did this guy (Jamie Dimon of JPMorgan Chase) risk his life fighting AIDS infected cannibal terrorists from hell, with the daily threat of having his skin pealed off alive, all in the effort to save 300 million Americans from certain death or something?

I mean to deserve $17 million, there has to be a threat of dying or dismemberment or physical torture or your soul being sucked from your lifeless corpse or something (of course that would require a soul)…

Seriously, think about this – these guys are so good they deserve to get paid more than the guys who stand in front of the President to take a bullet?

Let’s see – average wage is $41,000, so $16 million divided by $41,000 is roughly 390. So Blankfein is 390 times more valuable than the average American? 390 times smarter? 390 times more talented?

Makes me wonder why we even bother with “average” Americans. When you consider that they are 390 times less useful, it seems like an awful waste of space and oxygen. In fact, it makes me think we ought to take those 390 times more useless Americans and ship them off to some place where they’re out of the way so people like Dimon, who are clearly 390 times more useful, can do some real good around here. Christ why do we even bother with these bozo lowlifes who are worth a piddling $41k? Maybe we could just clone Dimon and Blankfein and eliminate the other 390 times more worthless slobs?

Come to think of it, my wife, an ICU nurse who only saves lives daily, makes less than the $41,000 national average. She’s not even worth 390 times less than Dimon! Dang, I wish I had realized that before I married her. I can’t tell you how embarrassed I am now. What will I tell my son? If this gets out I’m sure the other kids at school, who I think are only 390 times more useless than Dimon, will make fun of him.

Oh, the horror of it! If only I had asked for a prenup!”

Seriously, that’s what we’re saying – this guy is soooooo good and works sooooo much harder and is soooooo much smarter and performs sooooo much better that he deserves 390 times more compensation (and this is just the bonus – I’m not even calculating in base compensation) than your average American.

Roughly 13% of Americans live in poverty, so taking two adults and one child on the figures, something like $17k as a very rough estimate of the poverty line for that family (it varies by where you live), then Dimon is 941 times more worthwhile than those lazy loafers earning only $17k. So extrapolating a bit, he’s at least 900 times better than 13% of the population? Or to put it another way, at least 900 times better than all those poor blokes living in poverty?

BTW, I know those figures are messed – for instance those numbers include two income households, so an individual family member is probably significantly more than 900 times less worthy than Dimon. Still, the basic premise remains.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t begrudge people getting rich. God knows I want to become rich too (who wouldn’t given the mess we call “job markets” these days – we all want to get out of this crazy rat race). However $1 million is rich (contrary to the Republican National Committee Chairman), so is $2 or $3 million – let them have that. But this is just insane (incidentally, I think about 99% of Americans would like to have the chance to “verify” Steele’s assertion personally thank you).

But maybe like all the average Joe’s that the Republicans care about sooooo much about, I’ll just head off to Hawaii to contemplate this…

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